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That still doesn’t explain how this timeline would come to exist. Reality as it is is still insane, no matter how we got here.
And now, a man with a stoat through his head…
Best I can do is a microwave and a banana.
Hey, I know this reference!
Worth giving it a shot.
I like the (joke) theory that the world was created Jan 1st 1970 and every memory or artifact from before that point is simulated history, since that explains the gradually increasing insanity that’s been building up since
Agreed, WWI and WWII were pretty chill. /s
Yeah slavery was totally a sane thing /s
Wow lighten up. I throw a joke theory out there about unix timestamps and that’s you’re takeaway?
Why do you have to intentionally try to ruin a bit of fun
It is pretty funny that the comment talking about slavery is downvoted, but the one talking about the two world wars is upvoted
I did no such thing. It’s sarcasm! It’s funny one talking about taking a joke and lightening up cant do either and has the most triggered reply.
I feel like these thought processes of there being multiple timelines and that somehow we shifted into a bad one really garbage.
As if you just deserve a better world and its by bad unforseen luck that you are stuck in a world that you dont even care about cause its not the one you should be in.Well I was born here. Ive only been in one life and it was bad from the beginning and i had to do my own work to make it even bearable and its been that way since 95. Reality did change but thats because it always does. Start changing reality to one you like. Dont wait for a weasle to fucking do it.
It’s called a joke.
Thats not what this is lmao
It is, though.
I understood that.
That was just my response.
Don’t watch steins gate
Fricking love it!
About a neet who gets everything he wants starting with the idea that there is evil science trying to take over the world and goes to the limit him being able to fuck his best bro.
And yet the only good ending is when he gives up on his fantasies but lives the real world and consequences and yet still tries anyways to be who he wants to be.
Fricking exceptional.
I know it’s a joke, but I mean… there were signs way before 2016 that things were heading in a weird direction.
Something similar happened in 2009: https://time.com/archive/6933968/did-a-time-traveling-bird-sabotage-the-collider/
That’s pretty funny. Even funnier if there are people out there who actually believe in this magical thinking nonsense.
Are there people who earnestly believe it? I just see it as a little bit of fun escapism.
But you’re probably right. I say the same shit about astrology, so I should be consistent. Normalizing magical thinking is really bad, even if it seems benign.
Indeed. You literally never know these days. The astrology stuff is so fucky to me. I remember when people began getting serious about it and it completely ruined horoscopes for me as some fun, stupid past time shit to do once in awhile. It made me feel gross, like I was lumping myself in with a bunch of nutty people when I was just trying to have a bit of fun, you know.
You can have a convo with someone nowadays and think both of you are just joking and then you realize, no, I’m actually talking to an anti-vaxxer right now. 🤣 shit like that has happened to me more than once with all kinds of random topics I thought were common sense shit.
Trump’s campaign and election momentum was in full swing! 🤮
I distinctly remember when they had to shut the LHC down after a bird dropped a baguette on it:
https://www.theguardian.com/science/2009/nov/06/cern-big-bang-goes-phut
https://time.com/archive/6933968/did-a-time-traveling-bird-sabotage-the-collider/
That weasel’s name?
Harambe.
This reality is just us refusing humanity and returning to monke. Every day I think more and more about bananas
You have been opted-out from the apocalypse for entering the correct keyphrase.If you wish to UNDO this action, TEXT UNDO and the opposite keyphrase to the CORRECT HOTLINE.
The way to return to the correct timeline is simple: Take the dicks out.
If we all do it at the same tim
…it’ll shift Earth’s orbit outward, counteracting global warming!
How long should I keep it for? It’s cold over here!
South Park is certainly helping, then
I was going to say, Gef.
Actually it was Pauly Shore
I thought he died in 2003?
Rest assured if there’s a bubble I can make trouble in it.
For what it’s worth — and keeping fully in mind this is a meme and therefore not serious — Starfield (crappy Xbox/PC game from the people who made Skyrim) did this. A particle accelerator experiment (albeit involving an alien artefact) caused reality to split apart. So I’m gonna say, it’s possible!
In that universe, humans also have FTL travel and colonies on hundreds of planets, yet have mysteriously lost the arcane technology known as “email” and require everything to be done in person.
Also most of the colonies are either one family living alone on a distant space rock, or abandoned military outposts full of an inexplicable amount of space pirates, and somehow the two rarely interact.
And humans didn’t destroy earth with climate change, instead the FTL drives they invented blew away the atmosphere… somehow. Yet this is a secret protected by big engine or some shit, because every other habitable planet still lets everyone use their FTL drives near the planet anyway.
God that game sucks.
have FTL travel…yet have mysteriously lost the arcane technology known as “email”
To be fair, you do realize how many meetings happen today that could have been emails. That’s just the interstellar social equivalent
Yes it does.
Sometimes I miss the shooting. The best gun in the game is locked behind the pirate quest line, but that’s buggy AF. From getting the guards shooting at you for silently KO’ing the guy you’re after on the luxury cruise ship to the three beacons you have to protect (pirate side) or destroy (navy side) just not showing up… and the developers having people report these issues on a dedicated issues channel on their Discord and just not caring enough about their game to fix their shit… it sucks. Now I can’t even remember what it’s called. I just remember pointing at something in my way and clicking or maybe double clicking and it getting erased. Oh yeah. Revenant. Something like that.
Oh yeah, or how the hot Asian pirate chick has this stupidly convoluted maze of a ship and her Captain’s Locker always has like 25k credits in it and she does not care if you take it. That was funny to me.
Game absolutely sucks. And it’s worse because the developers do not care.
Okay… for the whole e-mail thing, if humanity has access to move people faster than light, but lack the ability to move just information faster than light, it would make sense to have a courier move the information, especially if it’s between two bodies that are sufficiently distant. For context, it takes the Mars rovers between 4 to 24 minutes to receive communications from Earth, depending on the distance between Earth and Mars, and that’s with radio, which travels at the speed of light. In addition, in cases where you’re moving large amounts of data between two locations, it could be faster to simply put the information onto a flash drive and deliver it to whoever you are sending it to. In fact, Alphabet/Google uses this method to move data internally.
This used to be called Sneaker net.
But I mean the real issue is really that it’s boring… Nobody cares if it’s lore compatible or not.
Unfortunately I have more belief in humans fucking shit up than I do in accidental weasel hadron colliding.
Also, this says it was in 2016. We were already super fucked by then. I’d be more inclined to believe that we live in a giant simulation that got fucked by the millennium bug.
Not that things were great in 2000, but the point is that 2016 is way too late. It’s like looking at water that’s just starting to boil, and then being surprised when it becomes a rolling boil.
2003 Iraq Invasion
Yeah but in 2000, I still felt like shit roughly made sense. We entered clown world long about the time the LHC fired its first high energy collisions.
The Large Hadron Collider (LHC) was first “fired high energy” when it achieved its first high-energy particle collisions on March 30, 2010. On that date, proton beams collided at a combined energy of 7 TeV, setting a new world record and officially beginning the LHC’s research program.
I remember hearing that that was going to happen and, you know, being mildly concerned. Then it came and went and I forgot about it. But I distinctly remember 2012. A series of truly bizarre things happened in my personal life. I sold a condo I owned at the time and moved away to try and put some distance between myself and what was happening. It was pants-on-head stupid, like I just couldn’t believe what was going on, but it was personal, not earth-shattering, just truly, deeply bizarre.
Shortly thereafter, Trump happened, then covid - and the whole world began being truly, deeply bizarre. Now things have progressed so far that where I used to think I knew a bit about how the world works and where it’s going, I am now utterly adrift. I don’t even try to make sense of it anymore, just to accept it and roll as best I can.
I’m not saying correlation is causation but when I first heard the LHC theory it made me stop and think.
I feel like everyone that heard that theory stopped to think about it. Maybe some people took it seriously, but at the least people entertained the idea for a second.
Bud, i just gotta point out that all that shit is US centric af.
Yeah dude, the Pandemic was localised entirely within the U.S.
Trump dancing like a clown on the world stage, wrecking economies and aiding his favourite Russian Master is at this point only affecting the U.S. No other country affected by this shitshow 👍
Covid had several precursors that predated the LHC. The US going ape is going to have global implications, but the fucking balls on you to think your country going full bore idiot means the entire human race has been thrown into the darkest and twisted time line.
No. The US has just made some bad decisions and started to do to itself what it’s spent the past 80 years doing to the rest of the planet
i’m not american loool so its not my country going full bore idiot
I think when harambe was murdered is when most people noticed that we’re fucked
Turning it on was the mistake. It was activated in 2015.
In this universe yes but in the weasels timeline weasel based time manipulation is quite common.
I read, “weasel hardon collision”.
I may have constructed my sentence thusly that that mental image might arise, ngl
I would rent that movie for at least once.
Weasel fried itself on a transformer outside the facility, it didn’t jump inside the collider ffs
There was actually a second weasel that did.
Maybe it jumped in to the collider, changed the timeline, got out, then got fried making its escape?
Also, I’m no conspiracy theorist, but you are definitely part of the Time Bending Illuminati trying to control my thoughts!! Well, tough, I’m wearing my foil hat, HA.
Was this before or after Harambe’s death?
A few months before. Theory checks out.
Actually, this is the better timeline. We were shifted into the really bad timeline after the cascade failure occurred right after the first test.
The weasel actually saved billions of lives.
Forseen Consequences
The right weasel at the right time can make all the difference in the world
This is the Inverse Steinsgate worldline where everything bad happens. Covid and climate change are worldline convergence.
So the weasel is why we live in the Biff timeline
