Based on my job obtaining ability in the last year apparently be me.
Fart into an airzooka and shoot the fart at the interviewers.
Oh I did this one once! I interviewed for a job as a construction worker, and my first question was “what’s the pay” and second “how the fuck do you expect anyone to say yes to that”.
They also had an apprentice working on a roof right next to us with absolutely no safety gear in sight.
Hire me or OSHA geta notified if you wanted the job
First, can you sign this form for my unemployment job search? Thanks bye.
I had one guy I interviewed tell me, unprompted, that all the women in the company would definitely feel comfortable around him.
Ok???
It was a fast no thank you. So I guess I’d do that
Sounds like something Michael Scott would say.
“Hi, I don’t want this job, I’m just here because the job centre told me to apply if I want to continue receiving unemployment benefits.”
Whatever I’ve been doing for the past year, apparently.
Ask for a blow job
As you can clearly see I’m white and male. When do I start?
“Congrats, Mr. President! You’ve won the election!”
Go for the hand shake and then pull a Hitler salute.
Mypillow would hire you on the spot
How strict is your sexual harassment policy?
Get my dick out. If it doesn’t ruin the interview I’ll run away anyway - who would want to work in a company where such a behaviour is okay?
- I only push to
master - I only deploy to prod on Fridays
- I am not available on the weekends
something about your confidence… you’re hired!
Confidence coming from ignorance is human’s biggest trap.
- I only push to
Options:
Vomit all over the interviewer’s desk.
Act crazy and shout random stuff in German, made worse by the fact that my German is dogshit
Pretend that I’m in a theater play (ie Romeo and juliet) and start dramatically acting a role, etc.
